Many of you are probably using AI to help write marketing emails to clients. And that’s not a bad thing – unless you’re sending those emails without making a few key changes.
Recently, one of our agents asked Brokerage Manager David Jones to take a look at the email text an AI app had generated for him. The goal of that email? To tell clients about their agency rebranding. We’re going to show you what the AI provided, and how to improve AI-generated client emails.
Check out the original text, our take on why that text wasn’t ideal, and how we’d change it for the better:
1: The AI-Generated Email Text
2: Why That Text Isn’t Ideal
3: What We’d Change
4: Our Full-Text Revision
No time to read? Watch our video overview:
Part 1: The AI-Generated Email Text
Subject line: Exciting News from [agency name]! Branding of Our Insurance Agency
Dear [client],
Over the past [#] years we have always strived to provide comprehensive financial services to all our clients and their families, and today we are excited to share some great news with you! We are pleased to announce that we have branded our insurance agency to better reflect our commitment to you and your insurance needs.
Our new brand, [brand name] represents our dedication to providing exceptional customer service and comprehensive insurance solutions. With this rebranding, we are renewing our focus on being a trusted insurance partner for you and your loved ones.
With our new name and look we will continue to provide the same high-quality service and customized insurance solutions that you have come to expect from us.
You can still count on our experienced team to provide you with the best insurance coverage options for your unique needs. As always provided over these past [#] years, we offer a wide range of personal insurance products, including Medicare Advantage and Supplement Plans, Life Insurance, Fixed Annuities, Auto and Home Insurance, Personal Disability Insurance, and Long-Term Care Insurance. As well as providing many options for Business Insurance including General Liability, Worker Compensation, Business Owners Policies, and Group Health Insurance. While continuing to partner with some of the best insurance carriers in the industry, we have grown to provide many more to ensure that you have the most comprehensive coverage at competitive rates.
We look forward to continuing to work with you and protecting what matters most to you under our new brand. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions, and most of all visit our innovative new website where you can request a quote, and even complete an application for many of the insurances we offer.
[website url]
Thank you for your continued trust in us.
Part 2: Why the AI Text Isn’t Ideal
Insurance is the most important thing to us, but your clients probably don’t feel that way. Before you send any client email, imagine a similar version was coming to you from someone like your dentist, proctologist, or pest control specialist. Would you find value in this email if it landed in your inbox?
With that in mind, here are some questions to ask to see how to improve AI-generated client emails.
5 Questions to Ask about AI-Generated Text
- What information in this email is going to make your client’s day better? You must answer this question whether the email is informational or salesy. For salesy emails, saving money is the obvious hook. However, informational emails are harder. For example, in the rebranding email above, the AI text mentions comprehensive financial services and exceptional customer service. But the agency has always provided that. And if you say the rebranding is to provide clients with better service, that still isn’t specific. What about it is better? Are you offering more carriers? More products? Hiring more staff members? Expanding office hours or locations? Offering a free yearly consultation (i.e., annual review)? Try to pinpoint things that are new or that the client didn't realize you provided.
- Is the most important information (a) in the subject line and (b) at the top of the email? If your news requires explanation or background detail, put that below the big news and any action items. Some people will continue reading, and others won't - but at least they'll have seen the most important info.
- Does the text use bullet points or Q&A style to convey information? This is much easier for clients to read and absorb, especially if they're on a mobile device.
- Does the email read as if you’re talking to one client? Avoid generic references to "our clients." Don't talk about all your clients. Talk to this one client as if you were in the room together.
- Does the text repeat ideas? AI-generated content often repeats concepts and ideas. That can make text too wordy, and discourage clients from reading all the way through.
Part 3: What We’d Change
With regard to the specific AI text above, here are the main problems we see:
- The subject line doesn’t give the recipient a good enough reason to open the email. What’s in it for the client? Why should they care about their insurance agent’s branding? It’s not immediately clear how that’s relevant to them. This email is fighting with dozens of others for the client’s attention. The subject line needs to prioritize the client’s needs and interests, not the agency’s.
- It's text-heavy, without any bullet points to break it up. The text clocks in at five paragraphs – about 304 words. It's a workable first draft, but there are redundancies and places we can trim. We can also use better formatting to make it more readable on mobile devices, avoiding the dreaded “wall of text.”
- It's not clear right away what the email's purpose is. The first sentence doesn’t include any news. Instead, it recaps what the agency strives to do (“provide comprehensive financial services to all our clients and their families…”). But if the agency is already doing that, this isn’t news to the client. Remember the dentist/proctologist litmus test we mentioned above? Would you be intrigued if your dentist emailed you to tell you they’ve always provided you with comprehensive dental services? Or would you just want to know what it means for you?
- The best information is buried at the bottom. So…what will the clients care about? It’s the part about the agency’s updated website where they can get quotes, apply, and potentially save money on new coverage. But the client needs to read through four paragraphs of text before they find out what’s in it for them.
With these issues in mind, let's take a crack at revising that text.
Part 4: Our full-text revision
Subject line: New on our website: more quotes, providers, and affordable insurance options
Dear [client],
To give you more ways to protect the people and things you love, we've updated our name, website, and insurance services. Now, it's even easier for you to get the coverage you need at competitive prices.
Our new name is [new agency name]. You'll see our updated name and logo on our revamped website. Here's what you can do at [website URL]:
- Request a free quote for life, home, auto, and more
- View rates & policies from an expanded list of providers
- See a lower rate or new policy you want? Apply on our website!
Why did we make a change after [#] years? To put our commitment to you in the spotlight. We've recently expanded to provide many new options and insurers – all so you can get comprehensive coverage at competitive rates. We can provide customized insurance solutions for:
- Life insurance
- Medicare Advantage and Medicare supplement plans
- Fixed annuities
- Auto and home insurance
- Personal disability insurance
- Long-term care insurance
- Business insurance (including general liability, worker’s compensation, business owners’ policies, and group health insurance)
At [new agency name], we're proud to be your insurance partner. Let us help you protect what matters most! Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions.
Thank you for your continued trust in us.
Are there further tweaks you could make? Of course. But this revision shows you a different way to present the same information – more white space in the formatting, with a focus on what’s in it for the client. All in all, the revised version is 23% shorter (234 words to 304 words).
We hope you liked our quick look at how to improve AI-generated client emails!
Have you used AI tools to generate client emails? If so, were you happy with the results?
